Some thoughts inspired by a 14th Century poet!
If you work closely with me, you may know that I am quite fervent about early-morning mediations, and ‘meeting with self’. It’s been a challenging year for me, and at some point, I decided to work with myself, rather than against, to survive, and (pardon the cliché), to thrive. (The opposite can be the tendency, right...?
To almost work against our own greatest good, and just be wholly ‘in our own way’). I find that, in the eye of a metaphorical storm, it’s often imperative to take oneself in hand and be really strict and fastidious about
certain self-care practices that make the likelihood of emerging intact far greater.
And so, under the counsel of a respected mentor, I wake before my family does, light a candle, tune into ‘the Debbie under the noise’, and have some still and creative alone time before the starting gun of the day is fired.
This time is relatively free-form, but would include meditation, journaling, reflection on the highs and lows of the previous day… Attention to my goals and objectives, specifically and generally, as well as commitment to action-taking in alignment with those goals. And I read… I read the texts of wise and learned people, in the hope that in such a receptive state, pennies may drop that otherwise wouldn’t.
And in that vein, I stumbled upon a poem by Rumi, the 14th century Persian poet, called “Fasting”.
I wanted to share it with you, line by line. I chuckled facetiously to myself that Rumi must, at best, have had an eating disorder, and, at worst, have been bariatric, to have this level of insight. Because,
boy! He gets it.
Have a read (I paraphrased a little, but changed nothing), and tell me if you relate –
(Note to the reader: I am currently experimenting with intermittent fasting, so there is quite a literal element, in my mind, to the idea of ‘fasting’ and ‘empty stomach’. But I also believe that these concepts are interchangeable with any form of abstinence, sobriety, on-plan eating, on-track living. So, depending on where you are on your bariatric journey, substitute the eating state that best matches your reality for ‘fasting’. Fasting is DEFINITELY not indicated for every bariatric patient, and certainly not for anyone in their first year out from surgery).
There is a hidden sweetness in the stomach’s
emptiness.
We are lutes, no more, no less.
If the sound-box is stuffed full of anything,
no music comes.
But if the brain and belly are burning clean
with fasting,
Every moment a new song comes out of the fire.
The fog clears up and new energy
Makes you run up the steps in front of you.
Be emptier, and cry like read instruments cry.
Emptier, write secrets with the reed pen.
When you are full of food and drink, an ugly
metal statue sits where your spirit should.
When you fast, good habits gather like friends
who want to help.
If you have lost all will and control, they
come back when you fast,
Like soldiers appearing out of the ground,
pennants flying above them.
Do you relate, as I did, to that vile, spiritually heavy, post-binge feeling of your ‘sound box stuffed full’, squashing any sense of joy, vitality and creativity? How, in those moments, you are lost, firstly to yourself, and then to the people around you, as well as to any project or endeavour that would otherwise ‘juice’ and excite you?
(It reminds me of that 2001 Afroman song, “Because I Got High”. The singer was speaking about getting stoned on marijuana, but the principle remains no matter what the drug of choice is… All these things “I was gonna do”, “but I got high, but I got high, but I got high” …).
And, by extension, the creativity and brilliance that bursts to life when “The brain and belly are burning clean”. I believe that we all have multiple versions of ourselves, at any given time… There’s a past version; less mature, less wise, less experienced… (Sometimes less cynical and jaded, too…). There’s a current version, with his or her struggles and joys. And then there’s the future version of ourselves, which can be a mere inevitability, or an actual creation of our own that we mindfully and carefully craft.
There is no doubt that, in my own experience, I step into a much better version of myself when my eating is ‘on track’. And that ‘stepping in’ is immediate, and infectious. I’m sure you’ve experienced how just a few days of ‘clean eating’ can lift your energy and confidence, long before the needle moves on the scale...?
Do you relate to the ‘ugly metal statue’ that sits, heavily within you, where your spirt should be, when you’re off track and not winning...? I love how Rumi suggests that just ONE CHANGE (of getting on
track) begets multiple changes. His turn of phrase that “good habits gather like friends who want to help” is pure gold. I love the sense of momentum he implies, and I’ve experienced it… Your eating kicks into place, and suddenly your energy changes… The manner in which you greet the world is lighter, more concerted, more purposeful. Your thoughts aren’t bogged down with obsession around food, eating, weight and ‘stuckness’, but rather it’s open day on good habits, and they rush in and take hold. This creates a kind of ‘levelling up’ in general, I find, much like graduating a difficult phase on a computer game!
And then, finally, for us who battle with will and control, Rumi asserts that they return when we fast (and I remind you that we can substitute any back-on-track initiative for ‘fast’; I’m not suggesting that you need to stop eating to effect these things). It’s interesting that the act of ‘fasting’ creates the energy required to fast… That by ‘just doing it’, the requirements for success turn up…
I have a sense of why he says this though: Fasting is a decision. You can’t ‘semi-fast’ or ‘kinda fast’. You’re doing it, or not doing it… Decision is a strong action. It’s a MINDFUL action. It’s not a feeling (which willpower is). I’ve heard elsewhere that the root meaning of ‘to decide’ is ‘for every other alternative to die’. And I like that. That a decision, truly taken, causes every other option to yield and bend its knee in
reverence.
So, Rumi’s decision (to fast) I believe is his power, and the fasting then becomes somewhat automatic because of the strength of his will and the power of his choice. You can read more about that in my BARIATRIC RESET e-book.
I wrote this up for you mostly just because I found it rather profound and inspiring. I appreciate the intersection between tangible struggles and spiritual/soulful/emotional realities. I read a book, decades ago, written by a psychologist who worked exclusively with eating disorders. She spoke of how true therapy and intervention was impossible until the addictive behaviour was removed. If anorexic, the patient needed to eat, and if binge-eating, the patient needed to abstain, in order for the true work to begin; for the unconscious conflict and content to float to the surface, unanesthetized.
This does make sense to me; I’d be hard-pressed to conduct a session in my private practice with a drunk, stoned or high person. But when sober, the person is better able to connect with his/her essence, and thus begin the work back from there.
This, I believe, is partly “the hidden sweetness in the stomach’s emptiness”, for any definition of “stomach” and “empty”.
I’d love to know your thoughts!
You’re welcome to email me on info@theshrinkonyourcouch.com
If you are keen to get YOUR eating ‘back on track’, I have a short and punchy ‘BACK ON TRACK Master Plan Mini Course’, that will guide you from being ‘off the wagon’ and ‘off track’ through to a really strong and empowered decision to pull it all in the right direction. You can purchase that here.
And if you are dead-sick of regain, of compulsive eating, of spinning your wheels with head hunger and heart hunger, and you are ready to do the real work towards peace, empowerment and long-term
bariatric success, have a look at my Bariatric Mind Masters program here.
