As a private practice psychologist, I’m often struck by how the simplest of interventions are often the most powerful and effective. Urges are, in a way, conversations with our ‘lower self’, our ‘reptilian self’, or our ‘sub-conscious, automatic self’, that just wants what it wants. In a nutshell, our reasoning, rational, conscious mind needs to intervene in such urges, and negotiate and navigate ‘us’ away from danger.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a therapeutic modality that assists us to harness the power of mind-fulness (conscious collaboration with the mind) to modify our behaviour. The fundamental argument is that thoughts drive behaviour, and so altering and challenging thoughts might effect shifts in our actions.
In this vein, I’ve found it useful, as a bariatric patient myself, but also as a psychologist, for my patients (and me!) to be ‘armed and ready’ with an artillery of though-based weapons, when cravings and compulsions strike. Like a life raft, when river-swept, these thoughts give us something to cling to until the calamity passes.
One such intervention that has been life-changing to many is the acronym, S.O.S. For ‘gen-pop’, SOS means “SAVE OUR SOULS”. For thought-shifters, it means STOP. OBSERVE. STEER. And it’s best activated at the moment that problematic behaviour begins.
Stop. NOTICE what you are doing. REALISE you’re in a predicament. And press PAUSE on the behaviour.
Observe. Take a step back, and WATCH yourself, in the moment, in the act. De-activate the reptilian, ‘I-want-what-I-want’ part, and lean into the conscious, present, mindful choosing self.
Steer. Take the reins. Take the wheel. And get yourself the hell out of there!
Stop, Observe. Steer.
Save yourself from this day. Rescue yourself from this moment. Do not give yourself a free pass. It is not worth it. It’s harder to recover than to prevent.
I speak at length in my “Bariatric Mind Masters Program” about how compulsive behaviour is the opposite of mindfulness. How we can be mindful, or we can be compulsive, in any given moment. And how the simplest way to become mindful, when feeling ‘urgy’, is to activate an acronym like S.O.S, which brings our attention back to what we want most, over what we want now. This is the challenge for most of us, and the answer is always to pause, slow down, and take charge.
Your Turn!
I’d encourage you, the next time you find yourself in the pantry, craving and compulsive, and wanting to inhale the contents of your kitchen, to think of this article. And to notice yourself being urge-nt and full of desire and need. And then to breathe, step back, STOP. Open up to the craving and start to pay attention to the part of you that wants different for yourself. And then to steer. To close the pantry door, walk away, and find something else to do in the short term to distract and soothe, without food.
This is deceptively simple, and I have clients who feel this is the most valuable nugget they’ve learnt, which keeps them safe on bad days and bingey days.
Stop. Observe. Steer.
