I still do it…
My daily early morning routine.
Years on from weight loss surgery.
And now, again, on holiday with my family, I’m thinking of what I’ve written and said about this practice, in years gone by.
I still have my sunrise ritual – of solitude, breathing, reading, and journaling. Of gratitude statements and goal setting. Of wrestling with myself, of challenging my thoughts, and of feeling vitally connected, before going into a day full of roles and giving.
And, years on, through literal joys and literal traumas – and in peak ‘mid-life’ – I am so grateful for how this practice has saved me.
Because it has.
Those of you who know me know it’s been a challenging few years (much as this is likely true for everyone).
This time, last year, I was at home, recovering from 18 days in ICU with a bowel obstruction. Life-saving interventions included gruelling open surgery, a coma, and 8 days on a ventilator.
If I was flirting with a mid-life crisis, before – which I was – then this experience facilitated the critical mass required for change to take centre stage.
I re-evaluated.
I really leaned in to my already long-term psychotherapy.
I worked slightly less in my psychology private practice, and online, and mothered ‘hard’.
I took far better care of my body than I ever have before.
And, banal as it sounds at first brush, one of my biggest ‘take homes’ from 2021 is the concept of CONSISTENCY.
The “daily doing”.
At full throttle… In 2nd gear… Half-arsing… For the ‘A’ team. It doesn’t’ matter.
But daily doing does.
Because of critical mass.
I once described the decision I took to have weight loss surgery as being like water droplets on a window, dripping down and running into each other, until the cumulative burden is too much to bear and the whole pool breaks and the decision becomes self-evident.
Daily doing is like this too.
In my ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking, previously, I did quite little of what I deemed important, for feeling there’s not enough time, not enough energy, or not enough reason or motivation in any given day to do it justice.
So work, eat, shower, sleep and repeat.
But somehow, this year, my thinking has shifted. And now I realise that to get anything done, spiritually, psychologically, physically or practically, one needs simply to make a decision and get going with it.
Because once the doing drops to the level of habit, it becomes who you are.
And then the benefits manifest.
So now, I chatter to my children.
I take every opportunity I can to impart life lessons to them, even if I know I’m merely planting seeds that may germinate and resonate later, when they need them.
I apologise when I’m painfully human. When I’m short or snappy or unfair.
I exercise. Every single day.
I eat cake sometimes, and I eat a pound of vegetables almost every day.
And no matter my day or my mood or my diary, I start with a blank piece of paper and solitude.
It used to be mostly about weight, food and eating. But it’s beyond that now.
Various people from Hemingway to Rumi have been credited with saying “the cracks are how the light gets in”. And my ‘crack’ is/was disordered eating and obesity, amongst many others.
But as Karen Koenig advises in “Words To Eat By”, “everyone struggles with something, and my struggle is food”.
But the struggle content (mine, and yours) is less important than simply doing “the work” on a struggle. Because the struggle is just the conduit for greater insight, deeper relationships and a more fulfilling life. Everyone has ‘something’.
So here I am, at the beach, again. Celebrating New Year.
And being quiet with myself and my soul, before my Littles burst into life and my hubby is ready for breakfast, beach and banter.
Wishing you a meaningful New Year’s’ Eve!
And wishing you consistency and ritual.
