How impossibly sweet:

My 6-year old daughter is at a remedial school, with an EXCEPTIONAL treatment team (teachers, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, speech therapist and educational psychologist).

More invested people one could not find.

I am always so aware of how they must be speaking to her, because her automatic speech is so positive, encouraging and tenacious.

For example, several months ago, I was attempting a new type of at-home workout, and she sprang into motivational action, coaching me as if from second nature, “Right, mommy, this might be tough but YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you. Just start and it will get easier”.

I could hardly proceed, for tears of gratitude and pride that this little human has access to such exceptional care, locking in self-talk wins for life.

That was months ago.

Then, this morning, she was having a conversation with Jack-the-Labrador.

Jumping around, she showed Jack and I her pristine ‘splits’.

She then immediately empathised with Jack, and said, “Aw shame, Jackiroo… I bet you would love to do the splits. But you only have puppy legs… Not people legs”.

And then the humdinger:

“Don’t worry Jack.

Things can change.

Things can get better”.

Mom was a PUDDLE.

“Don’t worry Jack. Things can change”.

I’ve become increasingly aware of the importance of how we speak to ourselves about our mistakes and limitations… Do we berate, criticise, and self-deprecate, in the face of challenge (which will naturally lead to feelings of shame and surrender)?

Or do we take a deep breath, steel ourselves, and start the upward climb, in the knowledge that “This is hard, but I can do hard things”?

It makes the world of difference.

I’ve been in a moody funk this week. There are a few hurtful and confusing truths in my orbit, and I’ve been in my feelings. My own exercise routine has struggled along, perhaps as a cause, perhaps as an effect.

So to hear such pearls pour out of this little human’s mouth was really heartening.

“Don’t worry Jacki-roo. Things can change. Things can get better”.

I hope that brightens your day, and inspires you to start every day with a strong, focussed, self-loving mindset.

About the Author

Debbie Rahimi is a psychologist and relationship therapist in Johannesburg, South Africa.

She writes about themes and trends in mental health, to normalise experiences and offer tips and strategies for coping.

Her focuses are:

(i) Assisting couples in conflict to stop fighting and start communicating, so that they can experience deeper connection and fulfilment. (ii) Helping pre- and post-surgery bariatric patients to overcome compulsive and emotional eating, so that they can maintain at goal weight for life. (iii)Fostering deeper self-awareness and personal empowerment, by viewing our individual ‘emotion triggers’ as gateways to self-understanding, healing and mastery. Debbie has a range of ‘plug-and-play’ transformational programs that can be accessed immediately from anywhere in the world. She also offers online individual and group coaching.

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