We recently had the great privilege of being on a family holiday in Tehran. Tehran is one of the world's best kept secrets. It is bordered almost completely by a range of rocky mountains, which add snow-capped magnificence to the otherwise stark, concrete landscape of the Iranian capital.
Nonetheless, whilst we were deeply submerged in the pulsating concrete jungle below, my 4-year old daughter, Ariana, became increasingly mesmerized and transfixed by what she referred to as "the snowy mountains". Fancying herself as a real-world "Queen Elsa", in Disney's "Frozen" tradition, she begged and pleaded for us to take her there, feeling that her holiday, and perhaps even her life depended on experiencing the wonder of those dazzling white slopes. Ariana imagined how she would feel as The Queen of the Snowy Mountain, bewitched and bewitching. She envisioned ice castles, magical snowflakes and talking snowmen. Once she had worn our nerves down to exposed little stumps, we acquiesced, and set off from central Tehran to the popular Dizin ski resort (aka “Ariana’s Snowy Mountain”).
The journey turned out to be long and uncomfortable. To the naked eye, our destination seemed so close. But, in reality, the roads were narrow and congested. We were travelling in a taxi, and, at some point, the petrol level became critical, and there were no filling stations in sight. This resulted in various frustrating detours, with a measure of anxiety about the prospect of becoming stranded. The children lost faith in ever arriving, and grew restless and irritable – sore in their seats, and terribly, terribly bored. At some point, we drove into a blizzard; unimaginable, on some levels, given that, just 20 miles away, we had felt quite warm and even slightly bothered. The roads were icy and treacherous, and visibility much diminished.
And then we arrived.
And Ariana hated it. No sooner had she emerged from the vehicle, than she was assaulted by the crisp frozen air. She gasped for breath, which didn’t come. Snowflakes melted on her cheeks and hands, dissolving into drops of unpleasantness that froze her to the core. It was like nothing she had ever imagined, and she was horrified. She had just had no idea that the Snowy Mountain would be so… cold.
All visions of snow-play faded into black. No amount of foot-stomping or fist-blowing could provide relief, and both children ended up on quivering in horror on the backseat of the car, clutching at jackets and jerseys, and begging to depart. Which we duly did.
Ariana’s Snowy Mountain has become something of a metaphor in our family, and tells the story of fantasy not necessarily translating into reality, of all that glitters not being gold, of needing to experience and “test-drive” a situation before subscribing to it… And even of appreciating the mayhem of “real life in the concrete jungle” over the trappings of the mystical mountain. And, perhaps, most importantly, of being very careful not to overlook a glaringly obvious detail of a situation – like the fact that snow is cold! – when evaluating life goals and desires.
It’s not unusual for me to hear tales with a similar trend. Enjoyment of an event or a relationship or even a job is rendered challenging or impossible, by virtue of one factor that perhaps should have been self-evident from the start. Sometimes, the unpleasantness could have been avoided, had the person been self-aware and introspective enough, at the time of decision-making, to understand how their own nature was going to respond to the fundamentals of the situation at hand, and the extent to which they would be able to withstand the cold for the beauty and magic of the mountain.
Sometimes, when weighing up the merits of an imminent decision, it can be as simple as listing the desired benefits, alongside the expected costs, and – no matter how much the “Snowy Mountain” is desired – to be painstakingly honest about exactly “how cold” it might really be. The objective would then be to take some time to reflect on each cost – to almost meditate on it - and get a deeply attuned sense of whether it is a price that can be paid, for the glory on sale. Only you would know the answer to that question, but, no matter the answer, the process would render you more prepared than just jumping in your vehicle on a whim and heading for the fantastical slopes!
